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groaners

topic posted Sat, December 17, 2005 - 9:32 PM by  Nancy
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
posted by:
Nancy
Seattle
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  • Re: groaners

    Sat, December 17, 2005 - 10:10 PM
    Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says to the other, "How the hell do you drive this thing?"
    • Unsu...
       

      Re: groaners

      Sat, December 17, 2005 - 10:27 PM
      Speaking of seafood...
      Be sure to give to the Home for Battered Shrimp.
      • Re: groaners

        Sun, December 18, 2005 - 11:55 AM
        I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.



        What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
        • Re: groaners

          Mon, December 19, 2005 - 12:21 AM
          What do you call a deer with no eyes?

          No eye-deer.

          What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

          Still no eye-deer!

          (Say it aloud if you don't get it outright)
  • Re: groaners

    Mon, December 19, 2005 - 9:58 AM
    A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. Someone says, in a very small voice, "Nice Tie." He looks around - no one else in the room. As he takes a drink, another little voice says, "Nice shirt." Again, no one else around. The guy looks at the bartender quizzically and the bartender says:

    "It's the peanuts - they're complimentary."
    • Re: groaners

      Mon, December 19, 2005 - 5:49 PM
      A man walks into a hardware store and asks if they have a tool for breaking up some hard ground. The shop assistant points to a row of suitable tools along the wall and replies: "Certainly sir, take your pick."
  • Re: groaners

    Thu, December 22, 2005 - 6:10 PM
    A spotted owl flies into a bar in Longview. The bartender, coming from a large lumber jack family, many of whom are out of work due to environmental laws, is enraged.

    "Get out of here! We don't like your kind in here on account of what you did to you know who!"

    The Owl cocks it's head to the side and looks at him quiziically.

    "Who?"
    • Re: groaners

      Fri, December 23, 2005 - 12:07 AM
      Two parrots sat on a perch. One said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"
      • Re: groaners

        Fri, December 23, 2005 - 12:46 AM
        What did the pancake say to the waffle?









        I'm not impressed.



        • Re: groaners

          Fri, December 23, 2005 - 1:03 AM
          Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

          ''I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
          • Re: groaners

            Sat, January 14, 2006 - 8:20 PM
            Those were shocking and revolting! They are beyond my capacity to understand. I will resist any more of them. My current emphasis is on positive stories. Wire you doing this? it's so negative. Short stories are better. Especially if they have inductive reasoning. Circuituos ones are long and winding.....

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